


he hates himself and he loves her

by melliesgrant



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: F/M, Sad, havent seen any of s3 btw so /:, seth just loves and misses kate okay, very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 06:39:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7880431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melliesgrant/pseuds/melliesgrant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>seth thinks about kate the night she died</p>
            </blockquote>





	he hates himself and he loves her

**Author's Note:**

> okay this is v short and i wrote it a long time ago so i thought, why not post it??

When everything's said and done that night and he's about to go to bed, Seth Gecko contemplates shooting himself up with heroin one last time. He's torn about it because he knows it's bad for him and he knows Kate wouldn't approve, but if he does it he might see her one last time and be able to say goodbye.

He sits in bed with the needle in his hand, and he looks at it and thinks of her. He thinks of her hair, and her eyes, and her smile. Those raven locks, framing her pale face, almost giving her the innocence of Snow White. Of course he watched that go away, along with that glimmer of hope in those beautiful blue eyes, and he watched as the bright smile that once always graced her face begin to appear less and less. He thinks of the time they spent together, and he thinks of how differently things would've gone had he not pushed her out of the car. No, she wanted to get out of that car, but he should have made her stay. He should have protected her. The more he thinks about it the more he wants the drug, the more he wants to tell her he's sorry. 

He needs to be clean though, he's in a place filled with culebras and he can't protect himself if he's high and hallucinating a girl who had just died hours earlier. He also knows she hated it, and now that she's dead he should respect her wishes. He never had respect for the dead, that was until he lost Eddie and now Kate. At least Eddie got to live his life, Kate died young and innocent and a lack of experience in anything that mattered. He shouldn't even be saying this shit, he didn't know what she wanted out of life, and now when she was dead he suddenly cared. She's dead, he repeats in his mind. She's dead.

He's angry at Richie and he's angry at himself, he's angry at the entire fucking world for taking her away. She deserved so much more, and then he thinks some more of what he could've done. What would have happened had he said no when she asked if he wanted company? She'd be fine had he done so, right? She'd go home and have a funeral for her father and brother, and she'd finish high school and she'd be fucking alive. He wishes he could go back in time and make that happen, but even if he did she wouldn't be so submissive in her actions. She still would've looked for her fucker of a brother, still got herself caught in this mess. She still would've gotten herself killed. 

He looks at the needle and he closes his eyes, he imagines her face again. The last time her saw her there was blood on her face, but he imagines her the way she always was. Smiling, clean, pure, Kate. Wavy black hair, pale almost glowing skin, blue eyes or were they green? He should have payed more attention to that, to those little details that made her Kate, because soon the image he had would fade and he would have nothing left to latch onto but his sorrowful memories while he cries at night. He tries not to think of that, instead he tries to imagine another life where he's still in that shit motel thinking she's going to be here soon. She'll come home like she always does, tell him about her day, he'll tell her about his, and they'll act like they don't care about each other as much as they actually do. He opens his eyes, looks at the foreign door and waits to see her walk through, she never does, she never will. 

He doesn't think about that though, he just falls asleep with a needle in his hand and the image of her smiling in his mind. He falls asleep with a smile and forgets the worries that'll be for tomorrow. He falls asleep with a dream of her holding him, her small hands wrapping around his waist, nuzzling her head in his chest, letting their body heat try to thaw their cold hearts. In the morning he wonders why he's alone and why he's so cold. He remembers she's dead. He goes to work.


End file.
